If this applies to you, you will have noticed by now, that you have a need to have things done your way. To the extent that you firmly believe that no one else can do it. You believe that if someone else would do it, they would mess up, creating even more problems for you.
The problem with believing that only you can do it right, is that it increases overwhelm and stress. You most likely will start to have things pile up and are constantly thinking about what tasks need to be handled next. It’s not easy believing that you can’t rely on others, and always have to tackle it all by yourself.
It’s no wonder then, that having this need to control aspects of your life, leads to more loneliness, and a sense that you lack support. Think about it, if you believe that no one can help you, because they’re unreliable or can’t do it right; won’t that have you feel more isolated? Besides this, control can also hamper your creativity, to the point that you will miss out on better solutions.
Let’s switch for a moment and focus on what you can do, to help you let go of some of this control. For one, it is important to note that most control issues, are fear-based. So, write down all of your fears. Realize that most fears are made up, and that no matter what happens, you are able to handle it. Once you become aware of this, it will be easier to let go of the control.
I also recommend to not be attached to a specific outcome. Let go that it has to be a certain way. Because by being attached to the outcome, you’re blocking other possibilities that may lead to even better solutions. I had a client that needed coaching with her business. She was great at what she did, but administratively she needed help. Until we started to work together, she refused to hire someone because she said she couldn’t trust others to do it right. In the meantime, the paperwork was piling up, including billing, and she was stressed out. Once her fears were released by working together, she hired an assistant, and she herself admitted that this assistant was so much better at the paperwork part than she was. My client was able to be more at peace, felt more connected and supported by others, including her assistant.
Being in control, overtime wears on you, especially if you’re not willing to delegate tasks, or don’t trust others to do it right. It will greatly serve you, to commit yourself to overcoming this overwhelming need to control. For more help with this, click the intake session link on this site.
